I came across this lovely article today by The Steel Alliance which I imagine is some pro-steel agency based in Pittsburgh. After all, anything pro-steel seems to be in Pittsburgh these days. Anyway, take a look at the article. Boston drivers earn a classic F grade for rudeness and safety! Go Boston! Get this quote: "While Boston sometimes trails behind New York City in the baseball standings, Boston drivers have the dubious pleasure of beating out New York City drivers as more dangerous on the road."
Isn't that something to be proud of? Our baseball team may consistently choke up and let New York beat it every year since the beginning of baseball, aint' no way we're letting those simps outdrive us!
I'm sure if you've spent any time driving in and around Boston, you'll realize that this article is dead on. And you know what? I kind of like it that way. You have to be aggressive to survive in this town. Try to be polite and you'll get honked at by 800 people who suddenly converge on the scene of the crime. Try to get out of a sidestreet onto a main thorougfare without blocking traffic? Forget it. I will admit, however, that I hate that trick and will honk and scream at anyone trying to pull it off. No one disrupts my lane without a really good reason (flaming wrecks, parades, and throngs of people willing to give me money come to mind)! You gotta think and act fast here, and I do think you're better off for it in the long run. You get places faster! You go to places like rural Pennsylvania or Rochester, NY, and no one knows what hit 'em. They're all sitting there wondering what the hell happened and you're already halfway to the nearest Dunkin' Donuts.
The best line in this article by far, however, is "45 percent of drivers said they committed at least four aggressive driving acts in the month prior to being surveyed." Huh?
Four? That's it?
Four just seems...I don't know...absurdly low. I'd imagine the average
Boston driver commits at least four aggressive driving acts in an hour much less a month. Apparently in Pittsburgh, everyone drives around with bouquets of little flowers to hand to each other as they float through the streets on pink and blue clouds. I can't think of the last time I had a non-aggressive drive. And you know what? It feels kinda good. Now some of you may start to make your little sounds and mumble something about "Alpha male testosterone behavior," but I kid you not, aggression is simply a part of driving here. You are very much entitled to drive like a pansy, but I'd definitely suggest doing it in another city. Here you'll end up getting run off the road by some maniac who is far more aggressive than I ever will be. Have you ever heard about the term "defensive driving?" Well, that's all we're doing here! Some evil bastard, probably 20 or so years ago, decided he was going to be a total jerk driver. People started to react defensively, and that started this amazing snowball effect which eventually led to everyone in Boston hating each other behind the wheel. This would make an amazing sociological study. Any takers?