I'm on a roll today. What can I say. And it has me hankerin' for a big Tuna sandwich. On a roll. I only realized the power of the tuna can at a late time in my life - Whilst attempting mightily to become a meathead, I was informed by my friend Earl (that is indeed his name) that Tuna was the best way to get protein without fat. And cheap too! Seeing as I am again attempting mightily to become a meathead, lady tuna has entered back into my life after a long hiatus.
First, the technicalities. In a single can of shredded or "chunk light" tuna packed in water (not oil!), you get 25 grams of protein and 5% fat. A pretty good ratio, if I have to say so. If you're willing to eat straight out of the can, you'll get exactly that. Of course, most people have to add a generous (and powerfully vile) dallop of Mayonnaise to make it taste a little less fishy. So
then your fat intake goes through the roof. Incidentally, once you start eating this stuff as heavily as I do, the level of Mercury in your blood might rise precipitously. Don't be alarmed, Mercury adds character.
Second, the fun. Just the other day I bought what is officially recognized by the Association of Standard Weights and Measures as a "buttload" of tuna. I love it. When I'm not eating a turkey sandwich (of which I also bought a "buttload"), I'm eating a tuna sandwich. Let me tell you, it drives the ladies wild. Kristin, my office-mate, just loves it! Every time I bring in a sandwich, she says something to the effect of "Oh God that stinks." Think of it as a great tool for negotiation. All you have to do is start eating tuna at the office, take it over to your favorite cube-gopher, and start chowing down while you're talking. This, my loyal reader(s?), is what we call sweet, sweet revenge. The best part is, all the while you know you're being relatively healthy. Just don't spill it on yourself (as I am often wont to do) or your plan will completely backfire. Because at that point, you are the only one stinking, and you have to smell it all day. At least that way, no one will sit next to you on the train...or anywhere else for that matter.
So next time you're down at the heinously overpriced supermarket, pick up some cans. Note that they are canned in such a way that the cans can be stacked perfectly. Brilliant! If you manage to shop like my grandfather (or Ryan, or Janet) and only buy at "bargain" prices, you can pick up several dozen cans for like...a nickel.
What's in your cabinet?