A friend of mine sent me this link to what I think is one of the most amazing things to ever grace my computer screen. Now I know that I often claim that this is the end-all proof that Japan is the weirdest place on earth, but I think this one outdoes all of my previous claims. Of course, next month I'll have an equally ridiculous link to show you. But here it is: Tricked out Trash Trucks. At first when I saw this, I didn't know what to say. My first thought (as seems to be customary these day) was "Man is Japan f'd up" followed in quick succession by "man is Japan cool." You've all heard of "ricing out" one's car. The term ricing comes from "rice burners" which is a wonderful mild racial slur made by pro-american car owners who love to have their crappy rustheaps fall apart beneath them while feeling prideful that they bought that "American Made" crapheap in the first place. So when you rice out your car, what you do is put some huge-ass tailpipe on the back of your
Honda Civic (ubiquitous trick-out car), put some silly-looking taillights on it, and paint it some ridiculous color. And don't forget giant decals and all sorts of tinting. And huge sound. We're talking sound that kills sperm cells (this is true). You know that movie The Fast and the Furious? Well that's all about ricing.
But I digress. As you can see by following the above link, some geniuses have taken things to the next level. Work trucks that kick ass. I seriously have no idea what purpose most of these trucks are supposed to serve, but what little maleness left in me that hasn't been snuffed out by living with 3 females for a year is very much drawn to all that chrome and ... stuff. I mean, these things look like moving arcades. They probably are moving arcades, judging by the propensity of "joy palaces" (no, not like what you found during your vacation in Rio, you perv) in Japan. Speaking of Japanese arcades, I am reminded of a time during which some 8 year old Japanese boy schooled my ass at Dance Dance Revolution after I had shoveled about 10 trillion Yen into the machine just to lose in literally 10 seconds. What can I say, I suck. But the satisfied smirk on that little bastard's face was enough to crush my male video game competition ego for life.
But I digress. Again. I think about the days (see below) driving in Boston stuck behind one of the garbage trucks that always seem to be out when I have all my windows open. So I'm stuck behind this stinking mobile heap of garbage thinking (while continually gagging) "wouldn't it be so cool if these things looked a lot cooler?" So I don't really think that, but it provides for good continuity in this piece. However, it's very obvious that some Japanese guy thought the same thing and actually did something about it. Wouldn't you be positively thrilled if one of these chrome airbrushed behemoths drove up to pick up your trash? It's like a limosine for your garbage! Hell yeah!
Of course you have to wonder about the safety implications of these things. Something that stunning is simply guaranteed to repeatedly cause accidents. With the striking prevalence of platform-shoe caused accidents in Japan, I have no doubt that some poor Japanese teenage girl could get blinded by the brilliance of these moving machines of insanity, get her platform shoe somehow lodged in the gas pedal, and the next thing we see is news footage. Note, this really does happen (minus the truck).
Now if only one of these things would sweep my street. Japan sure is cool...