This may be a relatively short rant due to the fact that everyone and their gay uncle loves this show with absolute passion. However, rarely do I rant about something or someone when someone couldn't find something to object to. I know I'm treading on someone's holy ground, but whatever. I'm sick of the damn show. So here goes. This is another one of those things where you have to live in a complete hole in the ground (or simply be without television, much like my parents) to not know what this ridiculous phenomenon is. Queer Eye for the Straight Guy, produced by BRAVO, is one of the most sickeningly popular (and sickeningly moronic) television shows to date. It has brought BRAVO straight (pun intended) from the pits of suckiness into the shiny, more luxurious pits of popular suckiness. The premise of the show is that five completely gayed-up and utterly over-stereotyped gay guys makeover a heinously over-stereotyped straight guy. And everyone loves it. I have several bones to pick (mild gay sexual innuendo also intended) with the creators of this show. And possibly the "Fab 5" since they are heading up this moronic fruit-fest.
Stereotypes: Some may say this is a huge step forward in homosexual acceptance. I beg to differ. I see it more as a sideways step than anything else. You see, yes, there may be more acceptance of certain aspects of the gay lifestyle, but at the expense of massive stereotyping. The point is, not ever gay man has impeccable fashion sense and a huge budget at which to blow on hair products. Neither does every straight man have long scraggly hair, a unibrow, and clothes from the 80's. Straight guys can live with bad stereotypes because let's face it, it's still good to be a straight white male. However, this stupid show just creams itself over quite a few gay stereotypes that aren't exactly flattering. Witness the flambouyant blonde guy who is the show's de facto leader. His fashion sense may be damn good, but he does wear some pretty fugly things on occasion. And he's annoyingly fruity. It's a fact of life, yes, that gay men can at times be rather effeminate and ... eccentric. However, sometimes he seems just a tad overdone. The same goes for several of the other four members of the crew. I read a quote from a gay politician (I don't remember his name so don't sue me) in Massachusetts, and he made a very accurate point. This show doesn't do much to forward gay acceptance at all, really. It makes gay people seem a little more acceptable to the average straight Joe, but just the parts about spending lots of money, being fashionable, and (arguably) cute. People watch the show and say "oh my how resourceful those gay people are!" much in the same way we marvel at a zoo animal. It doesn't necessarily impart any sort of respect for the people or their rights. Running around: On a less serious note, this one is kind of one of those stereotypes I complain about, but not really. It's more miscellaneous than anything else. Anyway, what is up with all the running around? These guys run everywhere! Are we supposed to impart from this show that gay men run everywhere, because they don't have enough time in their lives of shopping and looking good? Last time I knew, it was rather fashionable to kind of strut everywhere. None of this running shit. It gives me a cramp. The Same Show: Every freaking episode of this show is the same. Every single one I've seen involves the guy having long scraggly (usually blonde) hair and the stylist chopping it off and the "Fab 5" grooming guy telling him to "juge" (jooj? juuj? I have no idea how to spell that word). Hello, I've had the same damn haircut that they're calling hip and innovative on this show for five years! Shouldn't these fashionistas be able to come up with something a bit more cutting edge than the messy look? Moolah: Essentially what it all really comes down to is the fact that I am jealous. If only I had a place to myself and some sort of "hook" that would interest the producers of the show. Oh and I'd have to pretend to be unfashionably and irrepressibly straight. That may be mildly difficult seeing as I have gone on many a shopping expidition to Express Men with (a) my female roommates (b) gay men. Apparently that makes me "Metrosexual" but I'm so sick of that word too. If I could pull of getting the show, they'd spend upwards of $50,000 just to make me gayified for a night on the show. Would I mind them decking out my entire apartment with Pottery Barn furnishings? Hell no.
Keep in mind that not only am I straight but in no way was this intended as a gay-bashing rant. I rather find it pretty irritating that this show is considered innovative and entertaining. I suppose it is entertaining, but it failed to become innovative when the food tip was "red wine is no longer good when the bottle collects dust." You don't have to be gay, straight, or anything really to figure that one out.