Don't get me wrong, I really have nothing wrong with God-types, though that may come out the wrong way in this little piece. What I do have a problem with is people who take things to extremes, whether they be to the extreme right or extreme left. I lean left myself so I'm a little more forgiving of leftists. As far as I've seen, they tend to be less mentally challenged anyway.
So I'm reading this article on CNN today, maybe you've heard about this little scandal of sorts. Apparently some idiot school supervisor wanted to remove the word "Evolution" from all curricula of the school. May I repeat: all curricula. That's a lot of freaking stuff to remove one word from. And for what? Her claim is that she is trying to remove controversy from an issue that draws a lot of fire in the South. Guess what, lady, not to sound like a snooty Yank, but there are a lot of idiots down there. Mind you, that's not saying we up in "The Frigid North" don't have our own share of people who for all practical purposes should be confined to the cattle yards. How many more riots do we have to have in Boston when a sports team wins before somebody realizes that when it comes to sports and winning, Boston has a hive-mind with the IQ of a gnat. Bees, by the way, are the ones who have hives, but as far as I can tell, they're smarter than gnats. So imagine a hive of gnats all acting coherently. The results you get are overturned cars, drunken fratboys, and, if you're lucky, a World-Series-Winning baseball team sometime before pigs fly. But, as per usual, I digress.
The problem I have with the so-called "controversy" surrounding evolution is this: there is no controversy! From what I've gathered, there isn't really any respected representative of the "scientific community" who believes that anything happened but evolution. The only people who really deny the fact (yes, fact) that evolution happened are people with a bible shoved up their asses. I have absolutely no problem with religion, but sorry, we did not all appear in seven freaking days. Maybe God (or whomever) had a hand in the process of steady genetic mutation (otherwise known as evolution) and selection, but I (and most scientists) simply cannot accept the idea that everything just appeared. Even the Big Bang theory, which posits that everything did just appear (though not rabbits and plants and Adam and Eve and whatnot) is often grouped with theories about what was there before said bang of bigness.
So why the hell change your entire school curriculum to reflect the desires of some uber-religious Godheads who won't accept anything short of saying (in the public school which last time I knew was part of the government which last time I knew was separate from the church) "God created everything in six days and took off the seventh to smoke some of that seriously good shit that he created on the third day." Well they probably wouldn't say that being that seriously good shit is the Doob of the Devil, but whatever. Anyway, my point being that people who are pissed at the idea of evolution won't be happy until you change everything in your school to reflect the fact that your school is nothing short of a christian summer camp. Hopefully they won't sing any stupid songs either.
I remember reading a book about evolution called "The Beak of the Finch." The idea is that Charles Darwin visited the Galapagos Islands and saw such clear evidence that different sub-species of Finch had developed different strategies for survival through selection that he was convinced of the idea of natural selection (and subsequently evolution) and the rest is history. My question is this: how the hell can you say God decided to create 47 (or whatever) different species on Finch on one set of islands? Unless he was smoking some of that serious shit, I really doubt that God had the time nor desire to do that. Maybe he was sitting around on whatever day it was (the fifth?) and was thinking "Boy I'm really sick of thinking up new vile and disgusting parasites and virii. It's time for a change...hmm...Finches!" I imagine God had something better to do ... like come up with AIDS which would crop up when someone got randy with a chimp and eventually kick the shit out of half the human race. The other half would be fucked by George W. Bush, who was Lucifer's fantastic idea.
In any case, the idea was cancelled to change the curricula of the school system. Good freakin' idea lady. So many people are relieved she didn't try to push such an assanine idea that I swear I heard a collective sigh coming from somewhere down that way. Then again, I swear I also heard someone say "man this is some good shit" coming from up there. May lightning strike me down if it wasn't good. Well, time for me to pray that if the Secret Service doesn't come after me, neither will AIDS nor anyone from the South. Or drunken fratboys.