Living as a foreigner in Japan, you may be tempted to start to see yourself as something rather special. Maybe you think you're better looking, somehow, than you were before. Maybe you think you are so smart because you've only been living here for a year and people just keep telling you your Japanese is awesome. Maybe you think people ask you so many questions because they're truly interested in you.
In an effort (okay I admit it doesn't take much effort at all) to banish such thoughts and more, I simply remind myself that none of them are remotely true. To the majority of the people you meet, you are little more than a passing feature at the Ueno Zoo, something to marvel and point at for a short period of time before the next attraction draws attention. As a foreign English teacher in a public school, you certainly are little more than one more in a long line of continually-changing foreigners. How memorable are you really when people who have seen you daily for two years keep calling you by the last guy's name? Even to your Japanese friends, it is quite possible that a good part of the reason they are your friends is that you are foreign and even somewhat of a "friend trophy."
If you are one of the lucky ones to have command of the language enough to have a decent conversation, you haven't escaped. You definitely have a "specialness" advantage, but as I've heard Roy put it, you're just a talking monkey now instead of a mute one. Nevertheless I envy you horribly. Oh, to impress upon the people I talk to that I do have feelings and a personality to boot! The jury's still out on whether or not that actually works.
People are not looking at you because you're a hot dude(ss). They often have little desire to find out more about you beyond the "weird things" about your home country. They might even use you to the extent that you don't understand the way things work here. Like it or not, as truly special (or not) as you may be, you're still just a passing fancy. Consider yourself the "summer fling" if you will. Welcome to the ever-changing, always-the-same 外人 (gaijin: not-so-nice word for foreigner) roadshow.
This grounding (and bitter, I apologize for that) moment brought to you by shock-e.com
Comments
Maybe one of the ways to make sure that people know you have feelings and a personality is to talk about feelings and convey a personality. However, that said - once again speaking in generalities, which one should never do but must sometimes, the Japanese culture seems to look for homogeneity not specialness, doesn't it? Ah, the clash of the cultures...and very different cultures at that.
Posted by: ma | November 22, 2005 8:42 PM
Dude, I've been feeling similar things back here in WMA for different reasons... I mean, the sense of "I'm approaching 30--what makes me special enough to be on this planet at all?" Call it identity crises, whatever.
I know it's not the same as what you're talking about, but I guess I'm just trying to say that the feeling of being perceived as simply "one of the others" in a foreign country I must assume feels kinda isolating and dulling to your efforts to be yourself. Point being, I think maybe we're also both getting to that age when feeling some of this is "normal" anywhere 'cause the world is big and overwhelming, and life is starting to feel finite. Given the cultural and language barriers you face right now, combined with the fact that you are likely facing a more immediate departure from Japan that the threat of death itself, "overwhelming and finite" probably hold even more gravity for you.
Okay, I've twisted your rant into my own self-centered one, but hey, we all gotta have a point-of-view, right?
Posted by: jansen | November 22, 2005 9:21 PM
I'm so misunderstood! I'll have you know I haven't had a "decent" conversation in years! (Knowharramean, wink wink nudge nudge, wink's as good as a nudge to a blind bat!)
Man, what's happened? If you still got all your parts and there ain't no visible scars, it probably isn't going to kill you. And you know what Nietzsche said about that, right?
Anyway, I've sometimes found it helpful to think of our role here (if we have one!) to be a variation on Baudelaire: "pour épater les jûmin." (Think of the lyrics to that Peter Gabriel song...you know, the one with the title that combines parts of your domain and blog title!)
Posted by: IbaDaiRon | November 23, 2005 3:46 AM
It is amazing when we stop to think about it but whether you are in Japan teaching Enlish or in the US working your ass off as a Project Manager for a web design company, stopping long enough to realize that we really are just a just a very small part of the ever changing vastness we call life, can be very grounding.
The thing I find myself (____fillin word of choie here) with often is that the lives of anyone of us, or even vast numbers of us could end and life as we know it would go on. Life doesn't stop.
OK now I am getting deep and probably just sounding all gibbery so I will stop now and wish you a Happy Thanksgiving. Do you have Turkey in Japan?
Posted by: Michelle | November 23, 2005 10:29 AM
what of the students that you teach? It must work in your favor that you do look different (like a monkey haha) and therefore you get their attention. Doesn't it help in reaching out to them, and respect you, or do they regard you as a passing fancy as well? I wonder cause if I go there, since I'm Korean and while don't look Japanese I won't have that ability to 'wow' like a white/black gaijin would. I would think you guys have a leg up at least in getting the attention of your students. You never do really post about your day to day events in school, it would be interesting to read like outpostnine's.
Posted by: won | November 23, 2005 2:13 PM
If there is a "wow" factor/effect, it wears off pretty fast.
My observation has been that once students figure out the real power structure involved, many of them take foreign teachers less seriously, no matter how hard the latter try to motivate them. FWIW
Posted by: IbaDaiRon | November 24, 2005 2:41 AM
Agreed. We do look different and the students pay attention to that for say ... a month, two at most. You see, high school students in Japan (and elsewhere I imagine) have the average attention span of a gnat, and even something as amazing as (in my case) a white dude in their midst doesn't grasp it for long.
Then, as IbaDaiRon said, they get savvy to the fact that you have even less disciplinary power than other teachers (who have just about none), and you have yourself a classful of 40 chatty children.
Posted by: Justin | November 24, 2005 8:07 AM
Honestly, this is why I haven't felt much compunction at all to talk to the Japanese people around me lately. Sure, I'll involve myself if they want to talk to me, but really most of it is just a depressing exercise in isolation. It's hard enough to engage other English-speakers. Generally the only way I get to engage Japanese people is with my grey eyes, blonde hair, or amazing ability to wield chopsticks (apparently still amazing even after they've seen it every day for four months).
Posted by: Jenn | November 27, 2005 9:53 PM