On a daily basis I contend with a herculean "Dangerous Minds" (I'm sure there's a better movie/book example but I'm drawing a blank now) complex that I seem to have developed. I keep thinking that somehow, someway, there's a way to "get through" to these kids (especially the technical school ones) and get them to like English.
I keep thinking that if only I can plan out that magical lesson where suddenly English is no longer boring, lame, and a time to chat with your friends but interesting and a skill that really could be useful in the future. I know I'm not a crappy teacher. Perhaps if I'm more of a friend to them and less of a teacher? No, that just gets them asking sex questions. How about games? Even more boring than rote memorization, apparently. Even the blatant bribery bit ( that JET people constantly warn should only be used in last-ditch scenarios) flopped.
I can feel my disillusionment growing every new week. Every new cool lesson planned out only to be chewed up and spit out (sometimes literally) in moments, every hour spent trying to "friendify" them into trying some English ... I feel my desire to try slipping away. Soon enough I'll be one of the teachers who just go straight from the book. After all, if the students don't like anything creative, why not make the work easier on myself and at least use materials that are already prepared?
It doesn't have to be this way ... doesn't, doesn't, doesn't ...
EDIT: In pondering this during my daily lunch walk, I realized it really doesn't have to be this way: the reality is that I'm really not here to be a teacher at all, but a "cultural ambassador" (read: foreign one-man freakshow the kids can stare at) whose foreign ways will hopefully incite someone somewhere in Japan to be more interested in Internationalization. That being said, I feel a tiny bit better about my moribund classes.