Just when I'm settling some of my angry points with Japan and enjoying living here again, something incredibly boneheaded has to come roaring out of the gates. I've been reading about this for a few days, but sheer disbelief and the vast stupidity of this law has prevented me from talking about it.
I can't wait to see perfectly working but "too old" TVs clogging up the already garbage-choked rivers.
The hypocrisy with which this country claims an "earth-friendly" stance boggles my mind.
Akihabara News - 2nd hand electronics sales will soon be illegal in Japan
It's nearing the end of the school year (everything starts here in April) and that means two things for classes: there are very few of them in the next month, and we start focusing on future-tense. It leads inevitably to the "future plans" unit.
One of the activities we did involved students making a timeline. Most write "get a job" or "go to professional school" instead of "go to university." There's one boy (in the aforementioned two-boy class) who I'm trying to draw out of his shell of teenage-angst. I asked him what he'll go to professional school for.
"Fashion," he said.
In my high school and I suspect many others back home, that's at least a two year sentence for merciless you're-so-gay teasing. While foreigners often comment on the femininity of Japan's men, I give it props that things like this can happen. On the flip side, the discrimination runs deep in other ways.
The above is a quote from the famous-in-japan, born-in-my-hometown Dr. William Clark. He helped found Hokkaido University and has something big to do with the University of Massachusetts as well. Cool dude.
Anyway, today it pertains to the boys in my class and their apparent complete lack of cajones.
In my middle class, there are two boys and 16 girls. That is an incredible ratio of 8:1. It doesn't get better than that. I think in high school and college, I would've killed for something like that. These boys have no idea how good they have it. Yet, instead of taking full advantage of the situation like I thought they would, they pretty much hide. Are Japanese women so scary? I think not. Whenever we do pairwork activities or group activities that involve mixing the class, the two boys inevitably end up talking to each other and no one else. "Back in my day" I would've been all over this chance to talk to cute girls in my class. Naturally I would have been met with resistance and derision, but hey, I tried valiantly.
It happens in other classes too, where the girl:boy ratio isn't so extreme. At first I thought it was because they were so outnumbered, but larger classes disprove my pet theory. Everyone says that Japanese men are really passive and "weak" when it comes to approaching women. It really is disenheartening to see this trend start at such an early age.
Start thy pimphood young! Boys be ambitious!
Matt sent me a real eye-opener this morning. You know my policy on links (not too many in a given week) but this one was both scary and funny at the same time, so I had to share it. Plus it's the weekend and I'm not creative until I'm in between classes at school.
As he said, it's unbelievable that someone said this completely seriously:
"I know a lot of people are concerned about Big Brother, but my response to that is, if you are not doing anything wrong, why should you worry about it?"
That there folks, is a true sign of ... intelligence.
Let me teach you a little tidbit from the vast collection of ALT (Assistant Language Teacher) folklore.
Today I want to focus on the Legend of Hot Sensei. You see, being that we all teach at schools with dozens, if not hundreds, of other teachers, odds are that some of us should have some pretty fine teachers to call coworkers. I recall watching at one of JET's countless seminars a video recounting the day of an ALT who lives and works fairly close to 行田. Pretty much the only thing anyone had to say about the video afterwards ran along the lines of "man, his teacher was hot!" Indeed she was, regardless of rumors that she was, in reality, the devil. You see, we are repeatedly drilled in the art of "team-teaching." In theory we are supposed to be teaching in pairs with a Japanese person at all times, though for most of us that's rarely the case. In such cases that we do have a teaching partner, it would be pretty awesome to have a smokin' one, wouldn't it? That's the idea.
The problem is that somehow, though we have abovementioned dozens/hundreds of coworkers, rarely do we have a single hot teacher mixed among them. It's like winning the lottery when the teacher swap happens in April and one happens to come to your school. You're pretty much the luckiest ALT alive if you actually get to interact with one on a regular basis. I had a hot sensei sitting next to me last year, and I didn't realize how awesomely lucky I was until she was gone. Woe!! To actually have a truly beautiful/handsome teacher to teach with is something that legends are made of; wholly inconceivable. But we're constantly hoping that the next teacher shift might send one down on the winds of chance. It's one of those thing where you might hear "oh yeah, so-and-so five towns south has a really hot teacher..." but you can't find anyone you actually know who has one.
Within my group, we each have quasi-hot-senseis. It's kind of a compensation mechanism. You see the thing is that we so rarely have a true hot sensei. We have to make do with what we have, which has given rise to the "relativity" rule. Basically you may not have a hot sensei, but you probably have a "relatively hot sensei." For most of us, that's good enough. Sometimes, for instance, you may show your friends pictures of hot-sensei. Your friends look at you like you've got size 7 beer goggles on. All you have to say is "...relatively!" and they'll instantly throw their hands up and nod. "Oh yeah! Relatively hot sensei!" (S)he may not be particularly amazing on the eyes, but in comparison to whatever else to have to look at in the school, it's a Godsend.
Sometimes you're trying desperately to drag yourself out of the bed (futon) on a cold morning, and the only things you can think of to motivate yourself are "oh boy, another full classload of sullen, unmotivated 16 year olds." The moment you get up is when you remember "hey! Maybe I'll get a glimpse of hot sensei!"
Better than coffee, my friend.
I'm glad to say I passed the third grade (not particularly impressive) of the Japanese Language Proficiency Test. I barely squeaked past (even less impressive) the passing mark.
That being said, the listening portion was my forte. I quasi-owned it. Hot on the heels of that, I've realized that for a while I've been noticing the different speech patterns that my colleagues use. It's nice to know that even if you could listen to someone's speech without actually hearing their voice (you know, like someone else was repeating verbatim or something), you could still understand them by the way they talk.
Honestly I have little to say about this. This has to be one of the least intelligent people I've ever heard of. Absolutely brilliant. I haven't done a link in a while, so enjoy this one.
*snip*
Grace Sium rang the [police station] at 3.15am last Saturday enquiring as to where she might acquire some blow. Despite the dispatcher's repeated protestations that "selling and possessing marijuana was illegal", Sium persisted. Accordingly, the dispatcher admitted the cops had puff in the witness locker, and said if Sium swung by they would "hook her up".
Last weekend I went on a short trip with Pete and Roy up to the freezing country in the north known as 岩手 (Iwate). It was cold, kind of like home. In this cold, a tiny town has a festival every year involving dozens of near-naked men running through the streets having enormous bucketfuls of water dumped on them. It doesn't look fun, though you can smell the 酒 (sake) on them from meters away.
Here are the results of the journey.
Today I ate a McDonald's hamburger for the first time since I believe high school. Sure I've eaten stuff from there, but never actual burgers. It had its reasons at the beginning, then just became principle. I can't shake the feeling of having betrayed some abstract principles I once had, like I'm some sort of cheap whore who sold out. It shouldn't matter. What I should be more worried about is the disgusting blobs of fat itching to get into my circulatory system.
A year ago, even more recent than that actually, I may have blamed this on my living in Japan. I don't doubt that some changes in my lifestyle can be attributed to living here. I don't doubt that the nonchalance with which I ordered a double cheeseburger (man it was tasty, I will admit) does have something to do with a few principles I've gotten rather lax on since being here. Mostly I think I'm just getting older and my priorities have changed. I still hate, for example, George W. Bush with a burning passion that rivals the sun, but I can now say しょうがない (shouganai: it can't be helped) and try to move on from my fury.
Most people, I feel, get more apathetic as they get older, be it from personal experience, choice, or the "way of the world." I think that age-onset-apathy has indeed started to affect me, but I do also think (hope) that I'm just slowly learning to relax a bit. There's a little bit of Japan in t here I believe, as I find myself valuing a lack of conflict both within myself and with others.
That being said, I still fear I may come off as confrontational, high-strung, and bitter to some. Here's to learning the slow walk of life.
I have a private student who comes to my house roughly every week for English lessons.
Yesterday I noticed that he had seemingly started to shave his fuzzy adolescent mustache.
"Congratulations," I thought, "from now on you will be forever prisoner to the bonds of the razor!"
I've finally gotten around to recording my most recent DJ mix creation. I have to say, I think it's the best one I've done. It was a pain to get all the levels and the recording done, but it's out there now. This marks the 5th mix I've recorded and "distributed."
Anyway, here's hoping you like it. I've got a BitTorrent (link below) going for some high-quality mp3s. There is also a low-quality full-set mp3 for you to check out.
Enjoy!
BITTORRENT: Neurotic - Never Too Late
UPDATE: If you want to get to the torrent, it may or may not be seeding. It depends on whether or not my computer is turned on. If you want it and you can't seem to connect to the torrent, either email me or comment here.
UPDATE #2: I've encoded a full-set version of the mix, available for direct download here. If you take a listen and decide you want a better-sounding version, just contact me. Get it below.
DIRECT DOWNLOAD (average quality): Neurotic - Never Too Late (128KBPS mp3 file, zipped)
On a typical morning, I drag myself out of bed (futon) and get dressed as quickly as humanly possible in a piontless attempt to ward off the cold that pervades the apartment. Somehow my early morning ministrations drag out longer than they should, and I end up at school at around 8:25.
Today, I showed up at 8:20. Previously I had this vision that I was the laziest teacher at the school, with every single other teacher arriving at least a half-hour before me to do mysterious and wonderful teacherly things. Instead, the 5 minutes this morning gave me a wonderful insight. 5 minutes earlier, the parking lot is filled with still-parking cars. The shoe-box area is not crowded but there are several teachers still arriving and changing their shoes to "school sandals." And in my own office, everybody has either just arrived or hasn't even arrived yet. I'm proud to say my misguided vision stands corrected.
It's funny what 5 minutes will do.
Today I went to the supermarket to buy myself lunch. I was wandering through the instant ramen aisle (which is something you will never see until you're in Japan) when a small child spotted me.
Staring at me, he shouted something akin to "bleargh!" and cowered behind his mom.
I know how to make 'em fear, that I do.
Yesterday I was getting ready to leave school when one of the teachers in my room asked me "Justin, will you be here on Wednesday?"
An innocuous question enough, and of course my answer was "yes." Where else would I be on a work day?
His follow-up was "Can you eat my lunch for me?" I thought he meant the lunches that students from the cooking classes bring sometimes to be evaluated by teachers. Again I told him yes. But I asked him if it was from the students.
"No, the last time I ate my lunch, something was wrong with my body for more than a day."
Have I become a faculty taste-tester or something?
Back in elementary and middle school, I played Trombone. I wasn't very good, owing to the fact that I wasn't very dedicated. I made the mistake of mentioning that I used to play, so the music-department (or what passes for that here) director got wind of it last year and asked me to play with the band at the 3年生 (3rd year/senior students) going away thingie. I couldn't say no.
This year the dreaded trombone returns, with the same "shit I've forgotten everything and have to relearn the entire instrument in two weeks" issues as last time. But I shall prevail, like last time.
The question begs to be asked "why can't it be something cooler, like me being the DJ backup for the band or something?" The other question you might be begging to ask is "did uncoolness ever actually leave your vicinity?" Laugh it up, joker, cuz I know you're thinkin it.
I'm absolutely positive I'm not alone in my opinion that there is something wrong with drivers in Japan. Daily when we lowly foreign English teachers hop on our bikes to get to school, we bet our lives on those rickety frames. Just ask Roy who got hit and injured not just his bike, phone, and computer but also his body. Tons of people ride bikes here, which when I first got here made me think there was reason to believe that drivers would be more observant about them. Oh, how I was wrong.
There seems to be a basic problem with observation here. Drivers all over the world, of course, are in their own little worlds, but here it feels a lot worse. People tend to think that once they've hopped in their car, they don't have to worry about the little guy on the side of the road. Run him off the road (I can't tell you how many times this has happened), he's just got a bike, what can he do? I was driving the other day, stopped at an intersection and waiting to turn out into the intersection. A truck wanted to turn onto my road, so I waited. Instead of turning normally onto my street, he instead turned directly into the car I was driving. There was the whole other lane of the road, which he should have been turning into, completely clear, but instead he wanted to take the corner ridiculously tight and illegally turn into oncoming traffic. He was largely unaware, it seems, that my car was even there until we were literally a foot apart, at which point he and his wife stared at me indignantly like "why are you here?" Um ... I'm here because it's my side of the road you fuckup. I can't tell you how many times I've been a passenger to a Japanese driver and thought "oh God I'm totally gonna die." I've only been with one driver who actually appears to look carefully both ways when coming out of an intersection. Naoki is a very very good person.
I could be wrong (of course) but I think it's the insurance system here. I don't know much about it, but I'm always asking questions to try to get an idea of how it works. The basic gist is that very very rarely is fault established solely on one driver. The majority of the time, fault (and thus payment of damages) is split straight down the middle. For example, if I am driving on a main thoroughfare and some dolt pulls out from a side road and I nail him, the fault is still 50% mine. Why? I couldn't have stopped, but the law says that it was somehow in my power to avoid the accident and I didn't, so thus it's half my fault. Even if someone is driving on the wrong side of the road and causes a head-on, the victim is still 10% liable. From what I've gathered from asking a bunch of different people, it's close to impossible to establish 100% fault in an accident.
So then it makes sense why people are so careless here, especially when it comes to bicyclists or smaller cars. If you smash a cyclist, she'll end up paying for the damage her head made to your windshield. On top of that she'll probably end up paying her own medical bill, some of yours, and the fees to get rid of her mangled bike. Same goes for a small car. You clobber that thing with your brand new Toyota Monster, and you get the better end of the deal and end up penalizing someone thousands of dollars for being stupid enough to think that you were a responsible driver. The end result is that nobody cares when they drive, and it's a dangerous place out there for the rest of us.
If you have a better understanding of the insurance system here, by all means comment. But I may hunt you down and hit you with a car.
Last night I had a dream in which I was Harry Potter team-teaching (that's what we JETs are supposed to do, teach hand-in-hand with a Japanese teacher though it rarely works out that way) for a bunch of high-school aged students. Sounds familiar? My life indeed. The problem was that regardless of my massive magical power (it consisted of concentrating really hard like I was constipated and pointing at the students), the students were terribly unruly.
In my real-life classes, I either fall silent for long stretches of time or yell over them. But Harry Potter doesn't take that kind of crap. What did I (Harry Potter) do? Well shit, I dismantled that badly-designed (yeah, that's what I said in the dream) castle and made the students carry the pieces, which were largely canvas rolls, around on their backs. That's when they turned into cartoon characters and tried to mug Happy the dwarf (of Snow White fame) in the jungle, who was also a student lugging canvas. I and my team-teacher put a stop to that by beating them senseless with what I think were umbrellas.
Sadly, I don't have the power to concentrate and point at students to paralyze them. This all boils down to the obvious fact that I still have class-based anxiety, even after a year and a half.
Where's my umbrella?