Yesterday I volunteered at the Junior Solar Sprint, an event organized by the Northeast Sustainable Energy Association. Teams of junior high school students came from as far as New Jersey and Delaware to compete in the event, which pits their custom-designed solar mini-cars against each other in a variety of categories.
The idea behind the event is that each team receives a standard solar car kit about the size of a radio controlled car or a toy car. I've gathered that beyond some basic guidelines and restrictions, teams may then customize to their content. Their cars are raced against each other in the main "speed" category, but there are also other categories like technical ingenuity or creativity. Certainly, there was a wide variety of interesting and cute car designs, as you can see in the photo gallery below.
It was an interesting event to take part in, and encouraging to see kids trying their hardest in a subject which is probably considered quite geeky. I hope that the current "greening" trend continues to gain public interest and support!
Picture gallery here:
Apparently I have a thing for frogs. I've posted about them here and also here.
I made a recording of frog noises back during rainy season in Gyoda, but never got around to posting it. It's a noise that I find strangely compelling. Perhaps, along with the sound of squealing cicadas and the smell of damp tatami, it serves as a reminder of Japanese days past.
That recording you may find here: Gyoda Frogs
Contrast it with a recording I just made a few days ago in Massachusetts. These frogs are much bigger than their rice field compatriots, making them much easier to see. Don't let recording levels fool you; they actually manage to be quieter than the frogs in Japan.
Enjoy the natural ambiance here: Massachusetts Frogs Recording
Now if only I can get close enough for an adequate recording of the rather-elusive "peeper frogs."
UPDATE: I got a recording of the peepers! Oh joy, right?
Check them out: Massachusetts Peepers Recording
In response to Pete's excellent rendition of a Saturday pick-up game of bad football, I made my own version. It's quite a bit different, regardless of the fact that the base footage is the same. Take a look and I guarantee you can't help but crack a smile.
Turn up those speakers and prepare to be rocked.
Because YouTube can't seem to get basic video encoding right, I strongly recommend you choose either of the files below instead of the YouTube version:
http://www.shock-e.com/media/confusion_bowl_remix.avi High Quality, 85MB
or
http://www.shock-e.com/media/confusion_bowl_remix320.avi Low Quality, 30MB
Failing that, you can always watch the YouTube version below. Be warned, you're missing out on the entire point of the video, as the audio sync is slightly off.
A few weeks ago a group of ALTs in my area played a game of tag football. It was the most unorganized event in recent memory. Thus, The Confusion Bowl I was born. Please enjoy the following "promotional clip," filmed and edited by none other than the infamous Peter Weber.
Stay tuned for my own take on The Confusion Bowl...perhaps even as soon as today!
We filmed another entry in the "friendship series" of short movies. All Pete's brainchildren, they've been featuring various friends and acquaintances we have here. If you notice, there's a common theme between the two pieces. Can you guess what it is?
The lighting is much better in this one.
Pete, Will, and I filmed a short film while out camping in Tochigi. I have to say, it's a fun little flick and I really enjoy how well the music fits.
Unfortunately it's pretty washed out due to the camera's white balance or something (it was a very bright day), but so be it. A cute film. Just click below for the YouTube video.
You didn't think I'd leave you hanging after my previous riveting portrayal of the tapestry of characters at my gym, did you? Certainly not. Let me get to part two, as obviously described in the title: Konami Sports Club's employees. Some of them teach certain yoga/aerobics/bootyboxing/whatever classes, others just wander around and look encouraging. Without further ado...
- The Asstapper has, I think, a slightly twisted perspective on what makes up American-style sportsmanship. Hailing under the full name of Asstapper McTappington, he has a unique habit of tapping one's hindquarters at the most unexpected times, whilst pronouncing "頑張って下さい！ (ganbatte kudasai: hang in there / try your best!) At the beginning I thought I was immune because he sometimes works at the same school as Pete and thus had a connection. I was safe! Recently he's started tapping me on the ass too, so I'm obviously not. The trick is to have your ass against the wall or sitting on something. Sadly Asstapper is a sneaky rascal and catches you when you least expect it, such as when you're bent over the water fountain. Gym goosing is never fun.
- I bet you never thought I'd be talking about Rambo at my gym, but it's true. Sylvester Stallone (along with his overrated career) died and came back as a Japanese aerobics instructor. Rambo is kind of a rare sight at Konami, but nevertheless he's reached character status. He teaches some sort of weight training / aerobics combination routine that's insanely popular. Maybe it's because everyone wants to aspire to his bandanna-wearing badassedness. I can understand the head-worn bandanna for anti-sweat purposes, but the reasoning behind the one tied around his upper arm eludes me. It even has the long free ends hanging down his arm just like Rambo. I expect any day now that inside those plastic weights of his is hidden an enormous helicopter machinegun that somehow he can wield with his enormous muscles and mow us all down (that part is fabricated; Konami's Rambo doesn't have enormous muscles...nor a machinegun, hopefully).
- Our third contestant only gets mention because Jenn spent I swear 10 minutes ranting about the ridiculousness of her clothing choice one evening. Jeanny gets her name from the tight hotpant-style cutoff jean shorts she wore one night. Normally I don't see this as much of a problem (aside from the fact that the shorts were rather unattractive) except for the fact that she's one of the more hardcore fitness instructors at Konami. It means that she came in a pair of denim shorts to teach aerobics. Simply imagining the potential for chafing boggles the mind. Singlehandedly, Jeanny has demonstrated both the sometimes unfathomable Japanese fashion sense as well as the ability to be marked as a character by the gay-looking gaijin duo. Props!
- Mondays have recently become my favorite gym-going day, thanks to Smiley. Back in the day (read: a few months ago) I started by calling her Guy Smiley in homage to the rather obscure Sesame Street talk show host character of the same name. Being that Konami's Smiley is female the name didn't really fit, and thus the “Guy” part was dropped. Anyway, as I was saying, Monday is my favorite gym day because of her. It's not that Smiley is particularly gorgeous or flirty (never talked to her) or even an amazing fitness instructor (I have no idea what makes one). It's just that she has this infectious smile that really leaves an impression. I guess you could say she kind of resembles a muppet, seeing as her face-splitting smile has never left her face for more than a second at any one time. I wonder how she does it. If you couldn't tell, I have an irrational crush on her and my goal is to talk to her without getting roped into taking “latin dance aerobics” and thus looking like a complete fool. My goal doesn't really matter anyway, as her smile does make the gym a brighter place to be. Maybe Asstapper could learn a thing or two from her and smile harmlessly instead of tapping asses. Hmmm...
This wraps up today's gym characters chapter. Next time you can look forward to a more abstract set, featuring mythical characters like The Thong and The Sweater.
Ganbatte kudasai!
A few months ago I got myself a shiny new membership to the Konami Sports Club here in Gyoda. It's a modest gym, nothing fancy and not particularly big. From what I've seen, it's pretty standard for Japanese gyms. I can only imagine that the clientele are also pretty standard. I've been to plenty of gyms back home, but I can't recall whether or not they had characters that are as interesting to describe as the ones are at Konami. Maybe that was because I didn't stay at any gym but my college gym for long enough to pick out anyone special.
Anyway, while introducing the gym's nuances to me, Pete pioneered our usage of the "character" nomenclature. He really was right, the place does have quite a few unique people in it, who only can be described as having "character."
- First off we have meathead. I've actually posted about him before but I'm not sure I did him justice. He is the foremost character because there's so much of him and he's so damn visible. I mean really, he is built like a tree. I've only seen him actually working about about 2% of the time he actually spends in the gym. The other 98% is spent gabbing with other wannabe-meatheads and touching women while ostensibly "teaching them." I noticed once a woman doing squats. She seemed to be doing fine by herself. Meathead's version of spotting her was cupping her ass with his enormous ham-hands to "help" her push up. Yeah, like I want a pair of meaty hands on my ass when I'm doing squats. Then again, maybe that's what Japanese women want in the gym.
- Our next character we appropriately dubbed The Stripper. Seriously, I have no other explanation for her appearance and behavior. She looks like she might be pushing 40, but she has the body of a 20 year old. She lifts quite heavy weights for the size of her body. She dresses in skin-tight everything (like bright pink spaghetti-strap tops and split-leg booty pants), and stares at herself in the mirror at all times. Her favorite exercise isn't really an exercise; it consists of standing and leaning on the freeweight rack with her ass stuck out into the room. Precisely what she's doing I haven't a clue, but I could wager a few guesses. Sure, it's pretty cool that she's obviously proud of her body, but what made me think "stripper" were the long intricately-painted and rhinestoned nails, the heavy makeup, and the huge gold hoop earrings. Yeah I know I'm stereotyping, but really, you'd probably say the same thing.
- Even before Meathead, the first person I noticed in the gym was Jacket. I think he was actually the first person I ever saw at the gym, even while I was doing my initial orientation. The guy enjoys a similar status to I and Pete (one of the biggest guys in the gym, w00t), but he does it with a more distinct style. The name derives from the fact that he wears this white vinyl Nike jacket at all times. He sweats like his innards are on fire, and he rolls up the sleeves of the jacket so it becomes sleeveless, but nevertheless he always wears the thing. He must really love that jacket! I could understand, I suppose, if the jacket was rivetingly cool, but it's not. I mean, the thing is vinyl! It's particularly amusing when he finishes one of his dramatic workout routines and collapses onto the floor, like he finished some epic marathon. Take the jacket off, man. You might find it easier to lift stuff.
- The next doesn't really need much introduction, because her name pretty much says it all. Pete dubbed her Perfect B's and I stand by his judgement. 'Nuff said.
- Naturally, there's also The Dude, but he's got an entire post dedicated to his glory, and I don't want to take away from that. We did recently save Jenn from Dude-Damnation by telling him that he couldn't talk to her because "Japanese people make her nervous" and "she's really concentrating on her workout." She owes us.
- Old Man Muscles is the name I came up with just now for a guy we otherwise call "the muscular old guy." He looks like he could be anywhere from 65 to 75, but he is frickin' honed. Pete said just yesterday, "Dude, if I had a body like that at his age, I'd be wearing even less than he does." Trudat. The man is like an old greek god. He's recently taken to wearing this weird tank top that doesn't even cover his nipples (at that point, I don't really understand the purpose for wearing a top at all) and scary booty-tight biking shorts ... zebra print. It's particularly distracting and disconcerting when he walks in front of you and you're trying to give the mirror your best "angry face," but let's be honest here. If I look like that when I'm his age, you can count on me going to the gym in a damn speedo.
- Sporty Spice is relatively new on the scene, having only come to the gym a few times, but nevertheless she made her impression and she's got herself a shiny new nickname. She looks eerily like she could've been a past student, but I'm not sure. The fact is that there's something about her (haven't figured it out yet) that makes her a character. That's aside from her sharp facial features and the workout gloves she wears, both of which scream "I will kill you if you so much as look at my machine." I said something very stupid to her yesterday and miraculously managed to come away with my life. Her alternative character name was Anime Girl because she seemed straight out of one, but it just didn't have the right sparkle for a good character name. I have big expectations for Sporty.
The fun part about having so many characters at the gym is wondering who will be there on any given night. Of course Dude nights are no fun, but everyone else sticks to their own business, thus allowing us to marvel at their characterness. It goes without saying that to everyone else there we are probably "The Gay Looking Gaijin" characters, but I do hope that we provide as much entertainment to them as they do to us.
Keep an eye out for the next installment of the Character series, in which I'll fill you in on the other half of the character set: Konami Sports Club employees.
Today as I was biking back from lunch I overheard two junior high school girls talking about me. The conversation went like this:
Girl 1: "Isn't he hot?"
Girl 2: "Really hot."
Regardless of the fact that they are probably 15 years my junior and also know very little about what criteria make a foreign man "very hot," it managed to perk me up just a tad on an otherwise dreary day.
It's the small things in life.
-
Tiny
So cute
Hairy!
Red (本当に赤ちゃんだね。)
Already made uncomfortable by gaijin
Frighteningly soft in the noggin
Not yet loud
Absolutely fascinating
Today I ate a McDonald's hamburger for the first time since I believe high school. Sure I've eaten stuff from there, but never actual burgers. It had its reasons at the beginning, then just became principle. I can't shake the feeling of having betrayed some abstract principles I once had, like I'm some sort of cheap whore who sold out. It shouldn't matter. What I should be more worried about is the disgusting blobs of fat itching to get into my circulatory system.
A year ago, even more recent than that actually, I may have blamed this on my living in Japan. I don't doubt that some changes in my lifestyle can be attributed to living here. I don't doubt that the nonchalance with which I ordered a double cheeseburger (man it was tasty, I will admit) does have something to do with a few principles I've gotten rather lax on since being here. Mostly I think I'm just getting older and my priorities have changed. I still hate, for example, George W. Bush with a burning passion that rivals the sun, but I can now say しょうがない (shouganai: it can't be helped) and try to move on from my fury.
Most people, I feel, get more apathetic as they get older, be it from personal experience, choice, or the "way of the world." I think that age-onset-apathy has indeed started to affect me, but I do also think (hope) that I'm just slowly learning to relax a bit. There's a little bit of Japan in t here I believe, as I find myself valuing a lack of conflict both within myself and with others.
That being said, I still fear I may come off as confrontational, high-strung, and bitter to some. Here's to learning the slow walk of life.
I have a private student who comes to my house roughly every week for English lessons.
Yesterday I noticed that he had seemingly started to shave his fuzzy adolescent mustache.
"Congratulations," I thought, "from now on you will be forever prisoner to the bonds of the razor!"
Last night I had a dream in which I was Harry Potter team-teaching (that's what we JETs are supposed to do, teach hand-in-hand with a Japanese teacher though it rarely works out that way) for a bunch of high-school aged students. Sounds familiar? My life indeed. The problem was that regardless of my massive magical power (it consisted of concentrating really hard like I was constipated and pointing at the students), the students were terribly unruly.
In my real-life classes, I either fall silent for long stretches of time or yell over them. But Harry Potter doesn't take that kind of crap. What did I (Harry Potter) do? Well shit, I dismantled that badly-designed (yeah, that's what I said in the dream) castle and made the students carry the pieces, which were largely canvas rolls, around on their backs. That's when they turned into cartoon characters and tried to mug Happy the dwarf (of Snow White fame) in the jungle, who was also a student lugging canvas. I and my team-teacher put a stop to that by beating them senseless with what I think were umbrellas.
Sadly, I don't have the power to concentrate and point at students to paralyze them. This all boils down to the obvious fact that I still have class-based anxiety, even after a year and a half.
Where's my umbrella?
Today I was biking to the post office to buy a stamp. On the way, I saw an old codger shaving...in the street.
Chalk that up to the list of things I probably won't see back home.
My voice has worsened since yesterday and I've thus spoken as little as humanly possible today. It has left me with a lot of time to listen to the conversations that are always buzzing around me. Usually I listen but not actively. Today I have little else to do.
Three teachers were discussing how an "oo" sound doesn't necessarily automatically claim accent in an English word. The first examples, in which they thought it did automatically take precedence, were "shampoo" and "bamboo." But then they pointed out "Liverpool" and a few others.
Finally one of them exclaimed: "Just who decides this stuff anyway?"
Indeed.
Honestly I hate "blog memes." But I couldn't help myself on this one. It seemed like a pretty fun idea. Plus, I have really had almost nothing of mention to write about lately. The beginnings of winter do that to you I guess.
From Smoochdog:
If you read this, if your eyes are passing over this right now, (even if we don't speak often) please post a comment with a COMPLETELY MADE UP AND FICTIONAL memory of you and me. It can be anything you want - good or bad - BUT IT HAS TO BE FAKE. When you're finished, post this little paragraph on your blog and be surprised (or mortified) about what people DON'T ACTUALLY remember about you.
Actually, I'd say the title is a bit misleading. I'd say the marathon conquered me is more accurate, but at least I made it through. 10.5 kilometers (about 6 miles) is a lot longer than it used to be in high school when I could run that on a daily basis.
The good news is that 5 years past my physical prime, I placed 142nd out of 692 boys who are 10 years my junior. As we all get older, we grasp at little positive statements we can make like "my physical fitness is better than that of the average Japanese high school student." Rock.
Today I was walking back from one of my classes, marveling (not really) at the fact that the halls were frigidly on-par with the outside temperature. At least, as of December, they're allowed to turn the heaters on in classrooms. My thoughts wandered, as they often do, to the lack of insulation in buildings in this part of Japan. For some reason I thought back to living through winter in my own high school days. Thanks to the much colder climate in Massachusetts, schools are insulated and have much better (in theory) heating systems.
What stopped me was that I suddenly realized I had been thinking about my Massachusetts high school classrooms in a Japanese context; all of the rooms had sliding doors and kerosene heaters. It meant to me that I've been here long enough so that my life here has started to color my perceptions, even in small ways, of things elsewhere. I wondered how many of my other memories I had unwittingly altered simply by living here for the time that I have.
I think everyone's memories are certainly colored by their current outlook, but have you ever had a moment of such overt alteration?
In other news, this is the 400th post since the inception of Musings of a Drunken Monk, back in May of 2003 when it was hosted on a computer sitting in the living room of my apartment in Somerville, MA. This also marks the second almost-consecutive month that my site has moved over a gigabyte of bandwidth. Thank you photo gallery (and my awesomely few ... fewly awesome ... whatever ... readers)!!
Last night's Jamiroquai concert was pretty good. They play very well live, and even though it was an arena concert (meaning you dance in the tiny aisles of seats) it was fun. I do admit that I much prefer club concerts with general admission/standing only.
At the concert the foreign population was out in force. What I noticed was the overwhelming prevalence of foreign guys with Japanese girlfriends, all of whom were sizing each other up. I don't mean the Japanese girlfriends were sizing each other up (though some do that), but rather the guys. I think there's this unspoken competition ... like who has the prettiest girlfriend or something. Certainly, all the foreign guys in my section were staring at each other (and more strongly, each others' girlfriends) quite openly.
It's like the "couple stare" you get sometimes from Japanese people, only more baleful.
I also noticed that there was a huge advertisement (with blaring "new" music sounding exactly like all his other songs) for Bon Jovi on the way in and out of the arena. I guess concert promoters in Japan think that if someone listens to one foreign band, he must listen to them all. Honestly, I can't imagine that anyone who likes Jamiroquai enough to go to an $80 concert would also like Bon Jovi enough to go to a $95 concert. But who knows ... maybe Bon Jovi has some groovy quasi-funk/disco grooves in his songs I've just never discovered.
I'm coming more and more to realize that my life wouldn't be half as interesting if I didn't teach at the 工業 (kogyo: technical) school. Recently, just about every day I have an interesting story to tell about my one daily class I teach there. Naturally today was no exception.
I went to class and my partner teacher informed me that the students were tired due to "Judo day" which was yesterday. I guess they just spent all day throwing each other around in the gym (that, after all, is what Judo is about). So he wanted to make class 10 minutes shorter, as well as do nothing. Being that I need his help to get anything done in the class, I accepted and we started a class which involved me talking to students, handing out my handout, and going to the bathroom.
It was into the bathroom that one of the students followed me. I was mid-piss, and assuming he would just do the same, continued to piss. But apparently he wanted to talk. About my equipment. After inspecting it. Most people know that it's very difficult to force yourself to stop pissing. I had a good one built up, so naturally by the time I was able to pinch off, he had gotten a long hard look at my junk. Waving him away was pointless, as was trying to cover myself properly. In the end, he was amazed that I had no foreskin. He said "because you're a foreigner?" I agreed to make it simpler (plus, though I know the word for foreskin, I really didn't want to discuss the percentages and rationale of circumcision in the USA. Now that I think of it, I think he was wondering if foreigners just don't have foreskins.
I didn't even get to finish my piss, I was so intent on leaving that bathroom.
I've noticed this year that every time the seasons change, I feel a bit 懐かしい (natsukashii: nostalgic). I think it's because it reminds me of the first time (last year) I experienced the new season in Japan. Winter is coming, and my mood has been rather pensive as I think back on the past year, and what I was doing (and with whom) at this time last year.
It makes me feel old and sad.
Relatively recently, I've found out some interesting stuff about Japanese relationships (romantic I mean) versus American relationships.
As it turns out, if someone avoids talking about their relationship (which many people tend to do), they are making an attempt to be modest. If they do talk about their relationship, they play it down and highlight the bad parts in another attempt to be modest. Back home, if someone avoids talking about or plays down their relationship, you can be pretty sure they're either unhappy or being shady.
Why is it that talking about (what should be) a good thing, even mentioning it, could be considered rude or immodest? Wow.
Today I was informed by a group of students that I have a small ass. I already knew this, but damn ... to have people other than my close friends reminding me of my embarrassingly small ass ... well it was a lovely conversation.
Then they wondered why women have bigger asses. I told them "so I can appreciate them."
Just kidding. I told them the whole "having babies" reason.
This Saturday a bunch of people in 行田 (Gyouda) had a halloween party. You can find the pictures in my gallery installation but they're private photos so you'll have to have a login.
In other news I added a new plugin to my blogging system and now every post gives the reader the ability to "subscribe." In theory, this means that if you comment and want notification when others comment (or I change the post), you can subscribe. Of course, if you read my posts by way of RSS, this is made largely pointless I think. Some sites seem to update their RSS feed when new comments are posted, but I'm unsure if mine does.
I've read and heard a lot about the Japanese educational system emphasizing rote memorization, versus the "western" educational system emphasizing "thinking for one's self." I never thought my high school experience particularly emphasized being a real analytical thinker, but I wonder ...
I have a private student, and in most of my lessons I try to work on analyzing the readings we do and understanding the meaning, rather than pure memorization and regurgitation. Thus far, in almost a year of teaching, he seems rather incapable of analytical thinking. My regular high school students seem to exhibit similar patterns. Is it the age? The education system? Hmm ...
It really is true that every time I go to the Post Office, something goes wrong.
This was a simple pay-the-water-bill expedition, which turned into a bureaucratic semi-nightmare. It involved people calling the tax office, someone telling me something about my savings account which I didn't understand at all, and a lot of waiting.
You'd think I would've gotten used to it by now ... or at least learned to remember my dictionary.
Matt had the same thing to say several years ago. I imagine, since he just "graduated" the same program as mine after 3 years, the timing for said realization was roughly the same. I think we all have the same thing happen.
He's right, cellphone below desk-level does look an awful lot like you're playing with yourself.
This is a follow-up to yesterday's entry.
No, I will not be teaching from any book of the Bible today.
This is something that occurred to me a while ago but I never bothered to mention here. It's something that I'm sure every teacher in my program has also realized, and anyone else who has ever taught also realized.
The bare truth of it is: whatever shenanigans you pulled as a kid in school ... no matter how sneaky you thought you were, no matter how hidden you thought your bullshit was ... teacher saw it. We all thought teachers were blind or incredibly imperceptive, being adult and all. We thought we were masters of disguise and untruth. We were wrong. Teacher knew, and teacher tolerated. Those who got caught were just pushing farther than teacher's impressively-high tolerance.
I can't be bothered to tell you the number of students passing notes (not very common, really), sending emails on their mobile phones (modern day equivalent of the former), chatting, talking about me or other teachers, doing other homework in class, drawing ... and through it all I have come to the conclusion that most teachers also have; don't bother, busting them isn't even worth your time. Just let them think that hunching over their drawing and pretending to "rest" while you pass by is working and fooling you. They'll realize, with the onset of age and "wisdom," just how much teacher knew.
I was a pretty good student in high school, but even I had my moments of adolescent brilliance, like the rubber band banked straight into Mr. Lussier's forehead or the math homework done in English class. My life now makes me appreciate so much more what my teachers did for me and other students.
It's been a while indeed. But let me tell you a few things I've picked up while back in the States:
- Baseball is an incredible televised sport.
- American is definitely the worst airline I've flown. I can't explain to you the seething rage I weathered while standing in line at check-in for two hours only to almost miss my flight. Every other airline, you can get to the airport an hour before your flight and still have time to noodle around in crappy souvenir shops. I (and several hundred others) stagnated while the entire flight to Puerto Rico got checked before us. This was, of course, because the flight was leaving in 15 minutes and American had failed to provide adequate staff to check in the horde. So then I got to my plane 5 minutes before it departed. Maki did miss her flight because they printed the wrong gate number on her boarding pass. Way to go! As I said at the beginning of this trip: Never. Again.
- A wedding can have a 5 hour open bar without killing its attendants.
- Food in the States really is that much larger than it is in Japan. I had apparently forgotten. My stomach has obviously shrunken to the size of a pea, as I couldn't eat a single meal without being obscenely full. It's like I got a gastric bypass. Without the staples.
- Japan is way too hot for its own good.
- The MBTA in Boston still sucks. But now the Airport stop is all high-tech and Park Street has a souvenir shop.
- Reverse Culture Shock, whenever I should return, is going to sting ... a lot.
- Trees are the most fantastic thing I have ever laid my eyes on. Gyoda should give a few of 'em a try.
- I've been a lot more homesick than I thought. I guess it took a good jolt to get me out of hiding it from myself. I think I prefer to keep hiding it.
- My sister is not Bridezilla and that is awesome.
- Must ... figure out ... career ...
- 18 days is never enough time. Oh, how it had looked so long on my calendar.
- There were so many things that didn't need to come with me. Computer, shirts, pants, shorts, shoes, Japanese study ... What was I thinking when I packed this stuff?
- My Japanese still absolutely sucks.
In all, I am happy to be back. Of course it was incredible to be home after nearly a year, but it was also hard at times due to memories, a slight dose of reverse culture shock, and habits I've picked up since coming here. For one, I've come to very much value my time alone. You don't really get much of that when you have only a short time to get a million and one things done with a million different people. And I didn't even get to go golfing!
Anyway, it was great. Thanks all, especially my family, for making it memorable.
Last night I was watching a TV program about Beat Takeshi's childhood life. I guess the program is more supposed to be about his abusive alcoholic idiotic father, and it shows. The main premise of last night's episode was how the father gets fall-down drunk every evening, crashes into the house while the family is quietly doing all sorts of domestic things, and wreaks havoc.
It was supposed to be funny.
It could be funny, I suppose, if he just knocked over the table and broke the shoji screen door and fell outside. All three of those activities he performed with alacrity, but the problem was that he also beat his kids, threw his wife outside (damaging her back), threw his aging mother into the family altar, and smashed her prized shamisen. I was horrified. My viewing partner, meanwhile, was dying of laughter.
I got to thinking. Is it okay to make light of such a terrible situation? Is my sense of propriety overblown? For me there is absolutely nothing funny about a guy beating the shit out of his family (and neighbors, in this case). But I can also assume I'm missing something culturally here. I want to say it's related to the Japanese tendency to smooth over or ignore the terrible parts of life. But that would be ignorant to say I know what I'm talking about. I've gotten the impression that domestic violence was (and still is?) more ingrained in Japanese family life, but to what degree? And how is it (if at all) connected to the much lesser role a father plays in the emotional fabric of the family?
It is with great modesty and humility that I announce my overwhelming genius. As if you didn't already know, it's high time you did know: a genius walks amongst the commoners, and it is I.
How, you may ask, can such a bumbling dumbass as yourself have the gall to call yourself a genius? Obviously, I'll tell you.
I have discovered the secret to making stale chips (of the American snack variety, not the silly British name for fried potato slabs) crispy again.
Indeed.
Mom and dad were so wonderfully kind as to include a bag of Lime Tostitos in the most recent package from home, and sadly the bag popped open no doubt thanks to gingerly care at the hands of the wonderfully efficient USPS. That gave the chips five days to become more cardboard than chip.
But I, yes I, have de-staled them.
The next step is to feed my massive mind ... by eating them. Didn't you know MSG is brain food?
(In all seriousness, check out the MSG link. It's too bad it makes things taste so damn good, because MSG really is pretty bad for you.)
Let me start this off by saying I really hate blog memes. I think it's the most self-indulgent, pseudo-engaging bullshit that has come to the web since blogging itself. Since memes are virtually the same thing as those annoying "personality quiz" emails that everyone sends around, they are equally lame in my book. But actually you know what I think it is? I just hate the word "meme."
And yet here I am, making something of my own.
Fret nor criticize not, for this is an exercise for me in archiving memories of Japan. Everyone will form their own mental associations with their experiences, but I find there are several I've thought of that would be near-universal to a foreigner who has lived in Japan.
And here goes: What will I eternally associate with Japan?
- The tatami smell. Indescribable until you smell it. It's something like musty dried grass. Most of the time it's a good smell, until it gets continually damp during 梅雨 (rainy season). For me, this smell defines Japan.
- Ramen and the slightly-offensive oily smell outside the ramen shop. You haven't lived until you've eaten real ramen. Not that $0.15 Maruchan crap you get in the supermarket.
- 柴犬(Shibaken) barking. Cute, but the most evil dog breed to date. I've never heard a dog bark or whine more. While there's nothing particularly special about an overly-barking dog, there's something about a Shiba's bark that seems very distinct to me. I remember playing a video game that took place in Japan, and one of the ambient sound effects was constant Shiba barking. It was dead on accurate, as I learned when I came here.
- Cicada calls during the summer. Cicadas are really huge and creepy but the sound they make conjures pleasant (somehow) memories of the Japanese summer ... sweltering though it may be. Because I first came to Japan in the middle of summer, I think this sound will always be associated with the bewhilderment and exhilaration of my first few weeks here.
- Japanese children saying "Haro!" when I pass. A future outside of Japan guarantees that now is the only time I will be able to have such a strong (and hopefully positive) influence on so many young minds. Once I leave Japan, this won't be a reminder but simply a memory.
- 山鳩 (Mountain Pigeon) calls. These birds look so much like Mourning Doves that I thought they were the same bird. But they make a completely different sound. It sounds kind of like that cooing sound pigeons make, but much nicer and pretty damn loud.
- Local trains passing by. Somehow it's comforting. The sad part is, this is the most expensive and slow train in Japan, yet anything Amtrak would be eating its dust. Kinda crappy audio file here.
This concludes my list for now. I'll be doing some more sounds in the future, as I thought it might help people better imagine the world I live in. Sadly, I have no Cicada sounds, which is one of my favorite sounds of Japan.
Some of my third year (12th grade) English students have decided to keep a web-journal thing for the duration of their Sougo (kind of like independent study) English class. So, go on over and take a look if you feel like it. There's not much yet as they don't post often yet, but I'm hoping to get them to post more often. Feel free to say hi.
がんばれ、生徒たち！
Scientists have been working for a while on how to turn biomass (human/agricultural/industrial waste) into something other than environmental contaminants. They've come up with a way to get hydrogen out of these wastes. Now, they came up with an even better way.
Scientists push bacteria to quadruple hydrogen production | The Register
This is so cool. Apparently with the help of some chocolate (or toothpaste, or other stuff) you can shine the bottom of a soda/beer can to a mirror finish and start fires with it. I will have to remember this for my future wilderness adventures (if, that is, I can ever get out of the crowded Japanese suburbs).
Tracker Trail - Fire - Can of Coke and a chocolate bar
This also brings up this great survival site that this article is hosted on: Tracker Trail
Greggman shows off a veritable goldmine of really cool um ... things to look at. They are, I gather, design concepts for games or something? Or maybe just computer animation. Regardless, it all looks so damn cool. If you can figure their page out, the direct link for the place is www.scene.org/news.php.
Update: Apparently these aren't video files like I thought. That shouldn't matter to many of you because they're just Zipfiles in which you can find an EXE file that you run. Most of you with a Post-2002 computer should be able to run these just fine, I think. If you have a cheesy graphics-card-barely-runs-solitaire laptop like me, you might have a little difficulty ...
One is cheap (free) and one is not. Both are from boingboing. Boy, it would sure be cool if someday I could find something cool like this on my own ... heh.
First up, we have a do-it-yourself iPod stand made from cardboard/paper/whatever. You can download the template, which is Creative Commons licensed. Badass, especially because who the heck really wants to spend $30 on the iPod dock?
lists and diagrams: DIY iPod stand
Second, we have something that is not cheap at all, but for people like me, extremely useful. It's some sort of uber Poison-Ivy/Oak medicine. I am personally very allergic to the stuff, able to somehow get a reaction to it sometimes without even touching it. Anything that fights the heinous nastiness that follows is good in my book.
I need one of these. The idea is that the clock, when you hit the snooze button, runs away and hides, thus forcing you to get up and find it when it next goes off. Ingenious!
Every day, people stumble across this site (and a zillion others on the web of course) through a variety of search strings in all those search engines out there. My hosting service keeps track of the terms used in searches that brings people to the site. Here is an interesting breakdown:
53: ass
12: justin
11: iceland
8: government
8: hot
7: gladiators
7: leaning
7: pics
7: tower
6: spring
5: weed
4: mountains
4: korean
3: zen
3: people
3: images
3: dame
3: the
3: monk
3: pictures
3: notre
I left off lower searches. Notice, of course, the search for "ass" is more than four times more popular than that of the next most popular search.
Alternately, there are the strings that people used on the search for this specific site (www.shock-e.com). Unsurprisingly, pervy searches rank supreme. I suppose if I really want traffic, all I need to do is put a lot of dirty words up. Here are some sample searches on this site, courtesy of the site log:
"ass" (by far the most popular)
"anal" (duh)
"sex" (duh x2)
"man boobs" (no, I'm not kidding)
"miss sixty" (what?)
"squat" (that's disgusting)
"panties" (... sigh ...)
One of my teachers asked today what we call a "fear of women." My first guess was "mammophobia" but quickly I realized that was probably a fear of breasts (heaven forbid). A quick Google Search for "fear of women" came up with this fantastic site: The Phobia List!
There are things in here I never knew someone could fear. Even if you may never be able to bring up your knowledge of Caligynephobia (fear of beautiful women) at your next slammin' party, this is one hell of an entertaining (and informative) list.
It's like a book club with the entire world. I came across this site while I was using www.stumbleupon.com to find new places.
The idea is, you register a book you no longer want (or want to share), and then you put some sort of thingie on the book so people know what to do with it. Then you "free" the book, by leaving it somewhere. Then, in theory, people will pick up the book, and hopefully get on the internet and register the book with the site. Then you can see where it went, and what people thought about it!
I imagine a problem may be that an awful lot of these books get thrown away.
Here are some fun things to play with/watch on a rainy/cloudy/sunny/whatever day. I remember these were quite effective for whiling away the hours while I was supposed to be writing a term paper in college.
Kaleidescope
(Trippy Online Kaleidescope Thingie)
Crazy Wireframe Creature
(Manipulate a Slightly Gimpy Creature)
Very Busy Clock
(Click on the Link Above the Clock for More Cool Things)
I love this song. It's terribly cutesy and a little sad and very simple, but it's the perfect candidate for translation by me! You see, in case you hadn't yet thought of this, my Japanese still sucks. So here we go, first in Japanese, then in romanified Japanese, then English.
Note that I'm not some Japanese superstar so you're not gonna see as many pretty kanji characters as I'd like in here.
--
僕の子犬がいなくなった (boku no koinu ga inakunatta)
白い足白いしっぽ (shiroi ashi shiroi shippo)
ずっといっしょだったのに (zutto issho datta no ni)
僕の子犬がいなくなった (boku no koinu ga inakunatta)
白い耳白い背中 (shiroi mimi shiroi senaka)
いつもいっしょだったのに (itsumo issho datta no ni)
僕はかわいた涙で (boku wa kawaita namida de)
まい日くらしているはやく (mainichi kurashite iru, hayaku)
かえってきて (kaette kite)
雨の日も風の日も (ame no hi mo kaze no hi mo)
まい日さんぽしてあげる (mainichi sanpo shite ageru)
だからはやくはやくかえってきて (dakara hayaku hayaku kaette kite)
My very rough English translation follows. Please comment and correct as you see fit.
My puppy is missing (lit. "became not here")
White feet, white tail
For a long time, we were together, but...
My puppy is missing
White ears, white back
We were always together, but...
My tears are dry
Every day I live, hurry (this and the above line are tough for me)
Come home!
On both rainy days and windy days
Every day I take you for a walk
So hurry, hurry, come home!
--
The song comes from the Cowboy Bebop soundtrack, and though very Japanesey, it's a nice little song.
I saw these a couple of months ago but they didn't have the one I wanted. Just the other day I bought a pair of these. They are so cute. Yes I know that sounds girly/gay/whatever but they are awesome.
You know you want one. Which ones do I have, you ask? Well, I'll tell you. "EAT FROG" and "YELLOW FROG" are the ones I have. They keep me smiling on the cloudiest of days. Aww.
Actually, they don't at all, but haw haw boy did I fool you ... !
Go to Images and be treated to a special gallery of my new Keitai. As you can see, the one sort-of disadvantage of a Japanese cell phone is that